As a couple, my BF I are owned by 2 little dogs who are like our kids. We both have children from prior relationships but they’re grown and gone. Our dogs thoroughly rule our lives and command all our affection. They’ve replaced our love life that fizzled out over a decade ago. It’s all good, though. Sometimes, in an over 50 relationship, priorities change. Certain body parts don’t work anymore. Stupid things happen that make it preferable to have a friendly relationship rather than a sexy one and often times it’s financially convenient.
Both dogs, Minnie Mae and Louie are chihuahua mixes. Minnie Mae is clearly “my” dog. She follows me everywhere, even into the bathroom. Louie is obsessed with my BF and he’s obsessed with Louie. As soon as he sits on the couch, Louie immediately plops into his lap. They’re madly in love with each other to the point of weirdness.
My kids get embarrassed when we’re at family gatherings and he starts talking to both dogs as if they were humans. For a while, he’d come to bed late at night and start talking to them forgetting I was asleep. It got so annoying that when we moved I insisted on having my own room. I also sing and talk baby talk to them but try to be wary of others around me.
Our over 50 relationship is wacko
Even though we care about each other our relationship has been weird for a long time. Our love life used to be burning hot until a year after we moved in together. I’ve often felt it would be better to live in separate homes, but he has a nice pension that pays the rent. I can do my own thing and not stress about money so much, which is hard not to do when you live in Los Angeles like we do.
My BF is still married to someone he hasn’t lived with for almost 40 years. Before we moved in together, he lived with another woman for a decade. He never bothered to get a divorce because his wife has medical issues and is still on his Cadillac insurance plan. I was never happy about that and simply tolerate it.
How I got myself into this crazy mess
We first met in the ’70s when we were both working on a film, had a fling, and immediately fell madly in love. I didn’t know he was married at first. It was the 70’s and I was a dumb 23-year old. When I found out, I was too in love to stop and we continued our rendezvous for a while. You’re probably thinking I’m horrible, but remember it was the 70’s and we were in the movie business. it was a time of free love and life was groovy. I still went out with other guys but got googly-eyed whenever he called.
I finally broke it off when his wife got pregnant. My immature conscience kicked in and although it was painful, I said sayonara for over 20 years until we reconnected again. After my husband of 23 years died, we reunited in a restaurant and it was like we’d never been apart. I guess my conscience was still immature. I’m now convinced I was a victim of a powerful psychic force or was hypnotized.
Our renewed lust lasted for several years and we couldn’t get enough of each other. Finally, we decided it was time to get serious and moved in together. Because my kids were still in school, I made him move from his cushy Marina Del Rey condo to the Valley. I sold my house and used the money to move into a bigger home to accommodate him. That turned out to be a disaster. A year later he announced that he was too old to keep up with the physical part of our relationship. It turns out he had other issues that I found out about later, (fodder for a book) so now we’re just roommates and good friends. I think of myself as his handler and caretaker because he has an ongoing health issue.
Is it good or bad?
We share several common interests, that includes traveling and have been on several wonderful trips together. We also go to movie screenings, concerts, and other events. Even though I miss the romantic part, it’s nice to have a companion to go out with and not have to deal with dating.
On the downside, finances have been an issue. His show got canceled soon after we moved in together. After he retired he was a permanent fixture at home. Since I work from home, his constant presence is often annoying. I’m not one of those people who enjoys being together with someone 24-hours a day. His once six-figure income has been reduced to a fixed income. Let’s just say 2008 wasn’t a good year.
People have told me I deserve better and should seek out a more fulfilling love relationship. I’m sure they’re right, but for now, our over 50 relationship works for me. I don’t want to split up our dogs and I’d feel guilty leaving him to deal with his health problems all alone.
Our “cohabitation” gives me the freedom to come and go as I please. It reduces my financial stress and gives me time to “get my act together” in case something happens to him. As a 60+ old woman, that’s not such a bad thing.
Do you have an over 50 relationship that’s changed over the years? Please leave a comment below.